Why your sales page loses people in the second paragraph
The opening earns attention. The second paragraph is where most pages spend it badly.
Sales pages tend to open well. Someone has usually worked hard on the headline, and it does its job.
Then the second paragraph starts talking about the company. Founded in, passionate about, committed to. The reader arrived with a question and the page has begun answering a different one.
The fix is mechanical. List the objections a buyer has, in the order they occur to them, and answer them in that order. The first is nearly always “is this for someone like me”, which is a positioning question, not a features question.
Read your page and mark every paragraph that is about you rather than them. If more than one of the first five is marked, that is the whole problem.
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